Sunday is always a day a of reflection for me.  This week even more so.  As I sit at the bar at Not Just Coffee, my favorite Sunday spot, the atmosphere feels normal.  Just like any other time that I sit here watching the world.  I get a few double takes because of the t-shirt.  It says “Grown Ass American Woman” but its hard to read the words under my overgrown locs.  It’s the perfect shirt for today.

The unrest in Charlotte is real.  The outrage over the treatment of Black Americans by police officers has culminated in the events you’ve seen plastered all over CNN and every other news outlet.  People are angry, hurt, confused, appalled, enraged, concerned, exhausted, and fed up.  There are so many voices and so many opinions, the message seems to get lost.  I mean who am I to think I’m clear on the actual message, but I know one thing for sure… The shoot to kill mentality of certain police officers is fueled by fear.  Fear of the communities they serve, fear of the stereotypes they assume are true, fear of their own racial hang-ups, fear of confrontation, and most significantly fear for their lives.  This fear is bred by lack of exposure and in some instances over exposure.  The worst part is that no one can challenge the sentiment of fearing for your life.  It’s one of the reasons why these cases never end as expected. While I get that officers are fearful, I can’t help but wonder how these officers pass the smell type.  You mean to tell me there are no red flags until they kill someone? I think they system is failing them as much as its failing Black Americans. They are simply not equipped to protect and serve EVERYONE equally. Not when the mentality is, I’m scared, I better kill them before they kill me.  That’s not policing!!!!!!!

Now… Charlotte has got to do better. PERIOD.  Remember I moved here from Washington DC.  Born and raised.  Not the DMV but DC.  There’s a difference. I’ve seen many a protest, and many a riot (don’t forget Baltimore & Freddy Gray were right down the road).  The violence is unacceptable, I get that its par for the course considering the climate and tension.  Many of you know how much I love Charlotte after just a year of living here.  The destruction was heartbreaking.  Windows busted out in my own building, BLM spray painted everywhere, trash strewn about. I actually walked Caldwell Street and cried.  The one time being an Uptown resident was not fun. I probably should have packed a bag an gone to a hotel in Ballentyne, but a weird sense of obligation to acknowledge injustice wouldn’t let me leave. If ever the Walking Dead were real, for the last 5 days I’ve surely been a zombie trying to muster the strength to work and be productive.

So lets take stock of the last week:

  • A suspicious shooting
  • A horrible death
  • Community outrage
  • Blocked highways
  • A vandalized Wal-Mart
  • Press Conferences
  • Peaceful rallies
  • Protests gone wrong
  • More death
  • Riot Gear & tear gas
  • Delinquents
  • Marchers
  • News choppers
  • Curfews
  • A State of Emergency
  • Motorcycles &sirens
  • Fires & broken glass
  • Boarded up windows, closed restaurants. . .

No peace in Charlotte. No rest in Uptown.  Not even from my penthouse view, where life always seems so beautiful.

~ Miss Rii 💋💋💋